Well, several weeks had past since we brought baby home, the time was magical and seemed to pass by so quickly. The contact with birth mom continued with lots of texts, and many phone calls. Everything seemed to be fine as far as that went. There was nothing that made me feel that birth mom was thinking about changing her mind. During our conservations birth mom had expressed that she would like to come and visit once more before the termination hearing. So, we set up a day for her to come back to our house for a visit. We thought it would be a good opportunity to ask her if there was anything further she wanted to talk about, anything she wanted us to clarify, or generally any worries we might be able to set to rest for her.
The day came for another visit from birth mom and some of her family. It again was a very pleasant visit, I had framed a few pictures of the baby so I gave those to her. We gave her the opportunity to ask us any questions or discuss any concerns she might have. At one point she did ask how our family would welcome her, we assured her that our family and friends would welcome her into the family with open arms. I mean she was giving us to most beautiful precious gift anyone could give. So it all seemed good, she hadn't anything more she was concerned about. After enjoying another wonderful dinner with her it was time for her to leave. It was not at all awkward it just seemed as if we were continuing to build our relationship with her, I mean she was going to be a big part of our life.
The termination of parental rights hearing was fast approaching. Contact continued with birth mom sending her pictures, and texts with the occasional phone call. One conversation that sticks out is one in which birth mom and I discussed in great detail, the future. How she would play a role in baby's life, being there for the first day of school, us being there for big events in her life, talks the we would have with baby in the future, etc. She seemed to be at peace with her decision.
The day was here! It was the court hearing for birth mom to terminate her parental rights. Such a big day for everyone with every emotion possible. You can imagine my surprise when I received a text from birth mom saying she needed more time to decide if this is what she wanted to do. I got that message from her about an hour before the hearing was scheduled. I didn't know what to think. I immediately called "Racy" to let her know what was going on. She was at the court house at that time also. She said she would talk to birth mom and call me back. About 15 minutes later she did call back, stating she had talked to birth mom and birth mom really wanted more time to decide, so they were going to ask the judge to grant that. The judge granted birth mom with more time and resceduled the hearing for 6 weeks later. After the hearing I recieved a phone call from "Racy", the lawyer, and the gaurdian ad litem. They said they were all surprised at what happened, they explained to me what happened in court (which from my understanding wasn't pleasant ecspecially for birth mom).
"Racy", called a few day later saying that she talked with others at the agency and birth mom and they thought it might help birth mom with her decision if she took the baby for the weekend. We really were not sure what to think but, agreed to meet birth mom and "Racy" at a location so birth mom could take baby for the weekend. Needless to say that was the longest, least fun weekend we have ever had! We missed baby so much! Finally it was time to go pick baby up. Everything went well, however, at that moment I could tell, birth mom really wanted her baby....I felt bad for her. So, it was not a surprise when a few days later birth mom sent me a message saying she was really sorry but, she wanted baby back. We were devistated. There are liteally no words to describe what we were feeling. I called "Racy" to tell her and to let her know that we would want to get it over asap. I then called birth mom, it was a difficult call. She was very apologetic. We agreed on a time to bring baby back to her, I let "Racy" know the date and time.
The day had come it was time to bring baby back to birth mom. My partner had a difficult time with this and decided to not come with to bring baby back. It was just to hard. A family member of mine came with me for support. Upon arrival, I took some time to say good bye to my little angel. one last diaper change, a few more little words of wisdom from daddy. not that baby knew what I was talking about. I was just hoping somewhere in her soul she would know how much she was and always will be loved by us and our family and friends. Into the agency we headed. "Racy" was in the office sitting "crosslegged" on an office desk....real professional...but not out of character for her. I paced back and forth, anticipating birth mom's arrival. She arrived and her and I talked a bit, I told her baby's schedule and that was about it. We signed some papers and I walked birth mom and baby to their car and said goodbye. Never saw ""Racy" again after stepping out of the office.
It is hard to explain but, I have a lot of respect for birth mom, with that single descion, she had to make some incredible sacrifices...immediately. We never would want a birth mom to regret her descion. I would also like you all to know that this particular lady is a wonderful, loving individual whom from the very begining of this journey only wanted the best for her baby. None of the problems we had with this failed adoption were with her but with the agency.
Now come the unbelivable actions of an agency I had really thought would have had their clients best intrests in mind.....boy was I wrong!
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