So after alot of communication between birth mom and us a visit was scheduled for birth mom to come to our home and visit baby. At first we were not sure what to think, would she see baby and want to have her back?...would she see how much we loved the baby and how well we were taking care of her and realize that she had made the right desicion by choosing us for her baby's forever home?...We really had know idea what to think. "Racy" told us to go ahead with the visit, that it would probably put birth mom's mind at rest. She added that she had not experienced this with any other adoption that she had worked on. Now I cant remember for sure however, I did ask her how long she had been with the agency and I am 98% sure she said a little over a year. Which did not really put me at ease.
It was a wonderful visit, we gave birth mom and some of her family that came along for the visit a tour of our home, and the baby's nursery. Birth mom told us the nursery looked like something out of a magazine! That made us feel really good...I guess the fact that we had got some "approval" from her. We made lunch for everyone and shared some storeies, and a few little laughs. Birth mom did hold baby for a while. After several hours it was time to say good bye. We exchanged hugs and well wishes and said good bye. Everything seemed to have went really good, considering we had know idea what to expect. We really felt our relationship with birth mom had deepend with that visit. Just a little side note, the visit was during the weekend.
The following Wednesday I recieved a phone call from the social worker we had worked with on our FIRST adoption (I will refer to her as Stacy). I was puzzled, although a wonderful social worker, she had nothing to do with this adoption actually, she was from a one of the agency's other offices. "Stacy" asked how the visit with birth mom went. I replied, really nice and proceeded to fill her in on topics we discussed, and just how everything went. Then she continued by telling me that she had gotten an EMAIL from "Racy" stating that birth mom was "wavering", and having a hard time with things.....first of all an EMAIL!..really. I asked "Stacy" why hadn't "Racy" called me? Why was she having a worker who had nothing to do with the case call me to tell me this information? It seemed like a phone call from "Racy" was warranted, considering the alleged changes in birth mom's feelings. She also agreed with me that "Racy" should be the one calling as "Stacy" really did not know any thing about the case. Another thing to point out is that "Stacy" told me that it is the social workers job to do whatever it takes to meet with a birth mom and counsel them. She continued to explain to me how she had to recently go above and beyond with one on the birth moms she was working with and that "Racy" wasn't doing her job. "Stacy" directed me to act as nothing was wrong and continue contact with birth mom as we had been. She told me that if she heard anything further she would let me know. I really did not know what to think., of coures we did what we were told I mean they are the experts right?..I told "Stacy" that I expected a phone call from "Racy", she assured me she would let her know.
Guess who we did not here from? Yep, "Racy"....after a week had passed and I hadn't heard anything from her-- I phoned her. Surprisingly she did not answer. I tried several times and then left a message for her to call me. Finally, I recieved a call back from her and of course I missed the it but, she did leave a message. It said, in a very soft, whiny, tone..".Birth mom hasnt changed she is still having a hard time with it. You can call me back if you want." Well, since I called you yes, I probably want to talk to you. So, I called her back, and couldnt reach her again after several attempts. Now, we were not only worried but starting to get upset with "Racy". It was such an emotional rollercoaster. I wanted and needed to know what was going on! Had birth mom called? text? Words cannot describe the feelings we were having it was so stressful to not have the social worker to rely on, we did not know what to do. We did the only thing we could, roll with it until we heard differently. We still had this wonderful baby to take care of and enjoy, so thats what we did. Of course the drama with the social worker and agency was not over....
I know that using the names "Stacy" and "Racy" seems odd and they don't excatly roll off the tounge with ease, to keep as true to the story as possible I must have them sound very similar.
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